"Obviously you're not a hockey player"

Having just tried...and failed miserably...to do the Empire Movie Quotes Quiz, it has reminded me of one of my pet annoyances. I am unable to remember quotes. There are only two quotes I can be relied on to get right. "I love Lamp" and "Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can", but any others I am doomed to get wrong. Just be a word or so, but apparently this makes a difference. For the last couple of years, I have been cursed with male friends - because it is always men, who can quote entire films, tv series and albums at length and verbatim. I lived with 3 boys, who could converse entirely in Napoleon Dynamiteisms.

I cannot describe to you how frustrating it is, when I try to join in, be amusing and show off my wide knowledge of popular culture, only to be humiliated because I have somehow got one or two words not quite right, even if the basic meaning remains the same.

I try, I really do. But who can expect me to remember "Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you", without getting the percentage wrong? My friends, that's who. My brain is simply too full with the stresses of everyday life to have room for all this nonsense. I shall just remain quiet, and one day find friends who aren't sad and geeky. I just don't have the skills.